


summer rain

by Tayani



Series: ShuAke Confidant Week [9]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Engine Room, First Kiss, Last Kiss, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 20:14:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21042113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tayani/pseuds/Tayani
Summary: ShuAke Confidant Week Day 1 - first / lastEverything about this day felt like a dream.Everything about his life felt like a dream, lately.





	summer rain

Everything about this day felt like a dream.

Everything about his  _ life  _ felt like a dream, lately. 

Akechi Goro always considered himself rooted firmly in reality - or as much so as a Detective Prince doubling as an assassin  _ could  _ be. But ever since the day he betrayed Joker (and the Phantom Thieves, but really, who cared about  _ them _ ) Goro felt like he’s been plunged into an unending nightmare.

He grew to hate the lonely nights, hate  _ sleeping _ . He only allowed himself to sleep when he was absolutely unable to go on on energetic drinks. In truth, he’d prefer coffee, but even coffee has been ruined for him forever. In his dreams, the bloodied face of the boy he thought he loved would appear before him. Akira was never angry in these nightmares of his; he was pleading, questioning, asking Goro why he was doing this. Why would he choose to shoot through the forehead he had kissed so many times; why did he throw hurtful words at the man he used to whisper sweet nothings and words of love to. 

Goro never knew how to answer him. He feared the inability to justify his actions more than he feared the bloody nightmares.

And then, today, the dream-like state became even more eerie, the reality shifting all around him. Goro felt as if he watched himself from outside his own body as the realization that Joker wasn’t dead,  _ couldn’t  _ be dead after all hit him. He fought off the relief and forced it to turn into anger; he fought the Phantom Thieves with every ounce of the reckless abandon, not letting them speak, not letting their words get to him. Anything not to let his heart open for them; anything not to face Akira’s eyes behind Joker’s mask.

When the last hit landed and Goro fell down to his knees, defeated, it still felt like a dream. This time there was no escape. The other Thieves talked, all around him, but he didn’t listen - his eyes were held captive by Akira’s own, by the mute question in them he didn’t know how to answer.

He faced the boy whose heart he broke along with his own and he was utterly defenceless before him.

Really, the appearance of the disgusting, puppet version of himself came almost as a relief. Once again, Goro didn’t need to think anymore. He knew what to do; deep down, he understood what was going to happen all along. The only thing haunting him were Joker’s wide, frightened eyes disappearing behind the bulkhead door.

_ ‘Let me have this one thing,’ _ Goro thought, aiming his gun at the Cognitive version of himself.  _ ‘I’m sorry, Akira. I can’t give you back your life; I can’t mend your heart back together. At least let me die for you, protecting you...’ _

The double gunshot echoed through the vast engine room in the sudden silence and for the first time this day, Akechi Goro felt like himself again.

He stood there, unmoving, one hand outstretched, one half of his mask shattered and gone, staring at the puppet rapidly turning to dust in front of him. He looked down, staring with disinterest at the rapidly growing, crimson stain spreading over his Metaverse costume.

_ ‘It doesn’t even hurt.’ _

Things were happening around him, he knew; there was banging on the metal bulkhead door and growling of the Shadows surrounding him. Goro knew the Phatnom Thieves were just fools enough to try to save him, even after everything he had done to them; he knew he will be killed long before this could happen.

This… was alright. Goro felt his lips stretch into a weak smile as his knees finally gave out, dropping him down onto the cold, metal floor. This was what he deserved – more than he deserved, really. He felt another bang against the bulkhead door, so strong it shook the very ship under him. A dark figure jumped through the ripped metal, followed by more figures, all of them running past him, lunging at the Shadows about to rip him to shreds.

“Joker, wait up!” someone yelled. Goro couldn’t really differentiate the voices anymore; he didn’t much care.

_ Joker _ …

Goro’s head rested against the cold metal of the floor, warm peace spreading over his chest. Of course Akira would force himself to his rescue, the brave moron. Suddenly, though the shot didn’t seem to hurt him at all, Goro  _ did  _ feel pain. His heart squeezed painfully, fluttering in his chest like a caged bird. He blinked, and the Shadows were gone. Joker was with him, cradling his head in his lap, pressing a shaking hand over the wound. His gloves were crimson already but they now turned deeper, richer shade of red as the leather bathed in his blood.

“Medicine… you need…”

Goro was vaguely aware of Akira rummaging helplessly through his costume, pulling out a vial, trying to pour its contents first into his mouth and then at the wound itself. Goro tried to swallow obediently, but the liquid only spilled from the corner of his lips, splashing onto the floor. He realized Akira was shaking; one clawed hand came up, gripping the raven’s wrist.

“…it’s okay,” he whispered, with what strength he still had. Akira shook his head furiously, trying to tug his hand away.

“Morgana, get in here already!”

“Right!” The cat jumped to their side, his Persona already unfolding over him. Goro watched spell after spell being cast over him, felt it pass through him, less substantial than mist. He could feel Akira’s arms squeeze him as his body shuddered, wound  _ trying  _ to close but failing, the bleeding only getting more profuse, making him groan quietly in pain. He could see Akira’s face as he tore off his mask, forcing his own Personas to help in the healing.

“Why isn’t it working?!”

“Akira…” Goro whispered again, in a pleading voice this time. This, at least, made Akira look down at him. Goro saw his eyes were filled with tears.

Akira Kurusu was crying for him.

The thought almost felt too fantastical for Goro to believe it.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry… for everything. For trying to kill you… for leaving you…”

“Stop it,” Akira choked out, leaning down, tugging off Goro’s helmet to let him breathe easier. Goro felt his hair scatter on the floor, damp with sweat and blood from the previous fight. He smiled bitterly – not the best look for the always image-conscious detective prince. It was alright, though. It was… better like this.

“Please let me,” Goro said, closing his eyes. “Let me apologize. I’m so sorry…”

He knew he broke Akira’s heart. He knew it, because he had broken his own – back when he blackmailed the Phantom Thieves into letting him join; back when he decided what budding love he felt for who was supposed to be his enemy wasn’t going to stop him from taking his revenge. He knew he hurt Akira deeper and more thoroughly when, with an apology whispered against his skin, he had left him that day in late November, never to return again.

Now that his revenge was no longer going to be realized by his hand; now he knew it was  _ never  _ going to be, Goro felt stupid for ever letting himself choose this path. He felt Akira’s hot tears fall over his cheeks, like summer rain; he smiled.

“…do you remember?” Goro said, his own eyes filling with tears. “Our first kiss… we kissed in the rain.”

“Goro…” Akira said, in a voice that was more of a sob. More figures appeared all around them, though they were too blurry for Goro to recognize. He could hear whispers; voices that were familiar but so unimportant right now. All that mattered was Akira’s face hovering over him and his tears, hot against Goro’s cheeks. His body shuddered; feeling started to disappear from his limbs as pleasant, warm numbness set in.

“We got caught in the rain after coming back from… was it pool we played that day…?”

“Darts,” Akira whispered in a broken voice. 

“Right,” Goro smiled, feeling warm, comfortable and strangely at ease. “We ran through the rain and you’ve caught my hand…”

“You tried to pull me under the little roof by the antique shop, but I pulled you out into the rain again,” Akira said, caressing Goro’s face. The brunet smiled a bit brighter at him; his hand fell limply down. He could no longer even feel his body, feel anything apart from Akira’s warmth.

“I asked what you thought you were doing and you’ve turned to me… do you remember, Akira? Our first kiss…”

It was warm and chaste, filled with fluttering uncertainty and happiness Goro never knew before. He had never wanted to kiss anyone before Akira; he never knew love before him. Now, with his lover’s warm tears washing over his cheeks, Goro closed his eyes, his heart fighting to continue beating for just a moment longer.

“I remember,” Akira whispered back to him.

“We should have… stayed out there, in the rain,” Goro said, his own tears finally spilling. He took in a sharp breath.

“We should have stayed there…”

He could feel Akira lean in, even as the darkness fell behind his eyes. In his last moments, cradled in the arms of the one he betrayed; the one he fought against; the one he  _ loved _ , Goro felt at peace.

One last kiss has been pressed, trembling and fleeting like a butterfly, against his forehead. And then, Akechi Goro was no more.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like my stories, you can find me on twitter [@mikan_writings](https://twitter.com/mikan_writings) and/or tumblr at [mikan_writings](https://mikan-writings.tumblr.com/)!


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